Why is it that every Badger home game leads such antics? By the way, drinking a bottle of maple syrup was Millhouse's idea to cure my looming hang-over. I was hung over anyway the next day, thanks smarty-pants!  

Just in time for Halloween

All the freaks are out and about

This is so random:

Ben & Jerry's Graveyard

Ummm..obsession anyone?

Coral Castle

Who says there is nothing to do in North Dakota? This guy found himself a great hobby:

The Enchanted Highway of North Dakota

But this guy, his hobby is just lame:

UFO Watchtower

Politics as usual

I don't think I could say it any better myself, this pretty much sums it up. Thanks to Alicia for supplying today's political fodder:

Mr. Cranky's Cultural War

Memorandum of the day

MEMORANDUM

TO: Boss
FROM: Michelle
DATE: September 27, 2004
_______________________________________________

Boss’s name here:

Today I worked my ass off. I am requesting the following items to keep productive and happy:


1- Tiara (preferably in platinum with lots o’ diamonds), because I am Queen Busy Bee.

2- Stereo system so I can crank the new Nelly CDs that I bought (see previous posting).
3- Mini-Fridge constantly stocked with:
a- Greg Goose Vodka
b- Sugar Free Red Bull
c- Lean Cuisine Deep-Dish Spinach and Mushroom pizza ( because that stuff rocks my world)
d- Diet Coke
4- Coffee Maker and Starbucks Coffee
5- Fresh white Daisies on a weekly basis
6- More money and more vacation time

Thanks, that should just about do it for me!

Michelle

But Mom, everyone's doing it....

The disease is spreading all thanks to that dirty, dirty girl Jenna...

Shelly now has a blog too! Read it and weep bitches...

Duped!

I have been Duped (no Jenna, not Doobed). I am convinced that this is the music industry's way at getting back at those of us who so innocently dabbled in the art of downloading a song or two (or a few hundred, but who is counting anyway?) off the internet.

Recently Nelly released two hot new songs for radio and MTV play, "Flap your Wings" and "My Place." Since downloading songs without paying is soooo 2002, I decided that once Nelly's new CD hit the record stores, I would actually buy it. Yesterday, while attempting to do this, I had a near panic attack.

That insidious Nelly came out with 2 different CDs, each with only one of the songs! I stood stressed and perplexed at the local Virgin Megastore. I couldn't decide which one sounded better, so I bought both of them. I have been snowed by a man who can't spell, properly enunciate, and thinks that gold teeth and band aids are perfect accessories. Damn you, Nelly.

News Flash: Today sucks

CHICAGO LOOP- In her latest attempt at having a productive day, Chicago-area paralegal Michelle, eagerly boarded the Red Line South bound train this morning at 8:07 am with a smile on her face. Michelle recently came to the conclusion that if you drink 2 cans of sugar free Red-Bull, followed by 3 cups of coffee, crank the Jay-Z and shut your office door, that production on past due Interrogatories could be complete in a relatively quick manner. In a not so shocking turn of events, for what appears to be the millionth time, history has repeated itself at work. It has been reported that Miss Michelle got very little done of her work today because she was too busy helping everyone else.

In related news, Michelle also had to deal with Probate issues today, had a run in with the rudest female defense attorney in Chicago, was forced to put her McFlurry in the freezer because she didn’t have time to eat it, and consequently when she did find a second, she could not savor it because it was freezer burned and ended up dripping all over her now sticky keyboard. Experts have suggested that Michelle go home, take a nap, and possible eat chocolate.

Things that are a quarter of a century old...

1. Post-it notes
   
2. CNN
   
3. The Big Gulp from 7-11
   
4. The Susan B. Anthony Coin
   
5. Wendi (followed soon by Jenna and Michelle)
   

Here's to being exactly in your mid-twenties and being able to rent cars! Happy Birthday Wendi!!

UGG is right!!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Stefanie, the shoe fashionista, is to blame for this new OCD, she is the one that told me that I needed them. Thus, I shall be sending my medical bills to her home address.

I have reached a new level of desperation. I must confess, I have been stalking every store and website that sells (Sells? Who am I kidding, no one sells them because NO ONE HAS THEM..it is all a façade, a nasty deception to mess with Trixies like me) tall pink Ugg boots in size 6 since July. It is all consuming and is all that I can think about everyday. I wonder if this fixation could constitute as a new hobby? Is it a bad sign that the first thing I do in the morning when I get to work is to check the status of my Ugg order? I am about ready to kill for a pair of those damn boots, hmmm, I think I might know someone too (this is what happens when you at one time date an ex-mob-y from New Jersey named Vito). Seriously, I can't help it, they are so ugly that they are cute, kind of like Chiwauwas (which of course I want one of those too, but that is a whole separate issue...damn you Paris Hilton for making them so chic).

Thought of the day: Metrosexuals

Lately it seems that men all over the world are embracing mextrosexuality. Not that I am complaining, I am all for the beautification of world by ridding it of uni-brows and back hair. However, isn't there something inherently wrong when a guy self-proclaims himself as a Metrosexual? I thought Metrosexual status could only be confirmed from a close female acquaintance, who herself, has good taste. Isn't it like earning your stripes and therefore, and only then, a metrosexual is allowed to brag about his new found rank? Perhaps someone needs to tell that to all these faux-metros in Chicago...

The Ph.D. of Dating: a theory on relationship prepping

Why is it that I feel that my role in the dating world is to be the Ph.D. program? Not that there is anything wrong with a Ph.D. program, but I feel like I am constantly preening my men from diamonds in the rough to perfection and then because I did all the hard work, all these other girls see what a stud he has become, once he and I are through. Without me, mister, you wouldn't be dating such hot babes. I feel honored to have had so many pupils (some being worthy, some being the product of a drunken bender that lasted too many months), but seriously where is my perfection? I know there are other girls out there who run such distinguished academies that would be parallel with mine....

The University of Michelle: a brochure

Welcome to the Ph.D. relationship program at the University of Michelle. We offer best the Ph.D. dating program in the nation (occording to a recent review in Newsweek) and because of our superiour classes offered, are considered to be the best preparation that money can buy in order to become a sauve expert in the world of relationships. With locations in Sauk Prairie, Madison, and Chicago, we feel that our many locations are our greatest assest and therefore are able to mold the minds of qualified lucky young men from Southern Wisconsin and Northern Illinois. Many suitors have enrolled over the years and have gone on to do great things after their graduation from the academy. Those that have passed their tests with flying colors, after much vigorious one-on-one instruction, to this day are able to utilize their education and now are all currently in serious relationships that will more than likely lead to marriage.

We fret to inform prospective students that, as the economy is lulling, the standard charge (drinks, dinner, jewelry, and absolute adoration) while the pupil is enrolled, is no longer economically feasible. Instead, now included with the initial enrollment, a stipulation of sorts shall also require that once the pupil graduates and is hired as an expert in relationships, the employer shall be forced to enter an ex-employee of hers into our gracious trade-in program, or, if no such qualified man exists in the case, the current employer must have (The Unversity of Michelle) ex pupil sent flowers regularly, indefinitely, until The University of Michelle finds her own expert.

Thought of the day: Phone numbers

There should be an expiration date on phone numbers that are given out. I once had some guy who I had given my phone number to MANY months earlier, drunken booty call me. He claimed, after I of course told him to never call me again once I realized why he was calling, that he was just innocently sorting through numbers in his phone (yes, I am sure you were at 2 am on a Saturday night....riiiight...). Too bad for him that he had used that excuse the month prior when he had first called one drunken night...