News Flash: Today sucks

CHICAGO LOOP- In her latest attempt at having a productive day, Chicago-area paralegal Michelle, eagerly boarded the Red Line South bound train this morning at 8:07 am with a smile on her face. Michelle recently came to the conclusion that if you drink 2 cans of sugar free Red-Bull, followed by 3 cups of coffee, crank the Jay-Z and shut your office door, that production on past due Interrogatories could be complete in a relatively quick manner. In a not so shocking turn of events, for what appears to be the millionth time, history has repeated itself at work. It has been reported that Miss Michelle got very little done of her work today because she was too busy helping everyone else.

In related news, Michelle also had to deal with Probate issues today, had a run in with the rudest female defense attorney in Chicago, was forced to put her McFlurry in the freezer because she didn’t have time to eat it, and consequently when she did find a second, she could not savor it because it was freezer burned and ended up dripping all over her now sticky keyboard. Experts have suggested that Michelle go home, take a nap, and possible eat chocolate.